Dear Maria: Corona-Bae?

QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

We’re all stuck in our homes in the wake of the Coronavirus and there’s no other way to put it other than, a bitch is in HEAT!!

What’s your advice for adding some spice into the single and quarantined life? One regular Bae who’s (hopefully) Corona virus free? I hear Pornhub Premium is free, but that doesn’t compare to another man’s body heat. 

What’s your advice and how are you coping?

- Horny Hottie

ANSWER:

::raises hands in prayer:: ::deep sigh:: 

I hate to break it to you friend, but I too am weak and suffering during this quarantine induced draught. This is madness, but we must remain optimistic that we will one day feel a heavy breath on the back of our necks. 

Social distancing has pushed us into desperate times, but we gotta remain responsible. Feel free to check out the safe sex practices the NYC Dept of Health put out in the link below! These are tips on how to enjoy sex during COVID-19 and I am a huge fan of some of the suggestions. Starting with the safest sex, which is with yourself! 

https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/doh/downloads/pdf/imm/covid-sex-guidance.pdf

Masturbation is going to be golden for most of us right now, and trust me, I’m speaking from experience when I say it hasn’t been easy. With so much free time on our hands it’s easy to get wrapped up in masturbating 10 times a day, but after quarantine WK1 Freak Twitter has gotten stale, you’ve sexted your entire contact list, and you NEED more. 

This is the time to invest in some toys. I know for a fact a lot of sex toy suppliers are offering specials and deals right now, and this is the chance to start if you never have. I’d say check out tangowith.us. They have a great plug for beginners! 

Get creative! Bring out the beads and fleshlights and create that secret onlyfans account! We not out here judging anyone during this pandemic. 

Lastly, if you're fortunate enough to have a Corona-Bae that you feel comfortable with and trust then, bitch!!! Wear that MF OWT!!!! Don’t forget a condom and make sure you pay attention to symptoms, and take all necessary precautions. 

I stand with you and everyone else struggling. Stay strong, stay sexy! ;) 

Your sister in Horniness

-Maria 

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