Dear Maria: Trading Places

QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

What do you do when you want your power bottom to top you? I mean, he has this big ‘ole thang and doesn’t want to use it!

XOXO 
Brooklyn Dior

ANSWER:

Oooouuuu Brooklyn Dior!!!

C'mon for this name! I am dying writing this. Funny, because I've been waiting for a mixy ass submission like this based around sex.

Ok, you labeled this guy as a power bottom – is that because he's more dominant when he's bottoming or is he a strict bottom? The reason I ask is because a lot of vers men will be a power bottom with certain partners, and be an aggressive top with others. Now, if he has expressed that he is a strict bottom, then your hands are kind of tied unless he chooses to explore his role.

I'm assuming that you are fully vers and I wonder to what extent you want him to play the top role? Some strict bottoms can still be "Daddy." There's a lot of bottoms who like to receive and give oral both front and back! Those are my favorite match ups if you ask me ;) Haha! I say start by exploring his comfortability during foreplay and letting him be the big spoon, etc. Now, if you want him to penetrate you, I feel like that's a discussion that needs to be had because if he is a strict bottom he may not feel comfortable being asked to do that, however, closed mouths don't get fed, so sis it's time to just ask!

Every vers became a vers by testing the waters, so that's the only way to find out. Another dope option could be to introduce toys into the mix. Maybe he can wear you out with a dildo and satisfy those bottom cravings when you have them? Once he becomes turned on by seeing you bottom, he may be more inclined to trying it.

Lastly, this shouldn't be a difficult conversation to have if this is your partner or your FWB. If this is a guy you only hooked up with less than 3 times, I would tread lightly on bringing it up just yet. This could turn them off and then you could end up losing your big dick, power bottom and we can all agree that they are gold!

Let me know how this turns out. Write back in. Wishing you lots of great sex!

- Maria
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