Dear Maria: Love Don't Cost a Thing?

QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

I’m a single guy living in Philly looking for love. Recently, I met someone that I connect well with personally and physically. He’s kind, loving, and loyal. I also find him very attractive. There’s just 1 thing: he’s broke! No job, no home, no car. In his defense, he just relocated to the area and is trying to reestablish himself. However, I’d like to see just a little more effort as he heavily depends on his parents. I don’t want to be shallow, but at the same time “I don’t want no scrub.” What is a single guy looking for love to do?

– Single Boy

ANSWER:

Philly has been in the house a lot lately!!!

Thank you for writing in, hun. This should be a very easy question to answer. STOP BEING SHALLOW! Haha – not judging you for wanting to have someone who is "on their feet," however, you said it yourself that you didn't want to be shallow. Saying he's broke is kinda “judgy” if he just relocated and is trying to acclimate. 

When you say you want to see more effort, what does that look like? Is he out applying for jobs, interviewing etc.? If not, then I would agree that he can step up some. Maybe having a motivational talk with him could be really beneficial to show him you're supportive, especially since other than being unemployed, you and him connect very well as you described.

Help him out, send him some recommendations, or maybe even ask to review his resume if he feels comfortable. If showing a sense of support in this way seems like it's too much for your relationship right now, then honestly it's not much of your business anyway how and when he gets back on his feet because y'all just aren't even there yet.

Be kind, he's human too. Hold him down! ;)

Good Luck!

- Maria  

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