Dear Maria: This Week, Mutha Maria Has a Question for the Readers

This week is going to be a little different!

Miss Maria is writing an open letter and I hope you all will share your perspectives.

I just recently ignited a “dating” connection with someone who I have been crushing on for years! This individual and I have always had an admiration and respect for each other, but have remained friendly as we both were in and out of relationships. Several times during interim periods we would end up making out, etc. if we saw each other at a bar or gathering. Also, we have always remained kinda flirty through comments and DMs on social media.

We have agreed to give it a shot and go on a date soon. I was very excited about this because I viewed him as the type of guy I would settle down with, but the gag is: he is recently single from another relationship where he was actually engaged. I told him that I am 100% sure he is not looking to be tied down again as I’m certain he will need some time to heal, etc. I did, however, want to put it out in the open that I indeed am interested in him in that way if ever in the future.

It very quickly took a turn when he began passionately pushing the narrative of sex and FWB. I tried to navigate the conversation and keep it surface level, but I caved because this is kind of a “dream boy” of mine and I wanted to keep him interested. We exchanged pics and vids and really went down a wormhole of dirty talk. It got pretty inappropriate and I was quite surprised because he was a lot more aggressive and kinkier than I would have ever anticipated.

I kept picking up clues from his tone that he is very clearly still healing from his separation and obviously wants to use sex as a form of distraction. As badly as I would want to have sex with him too, I don’t want to get stuck as a rebound because I actually always thought he was my type of guy. After sleeping on it, I’m realizing that I’m actually kind of turned off a bit by his vulgar approach at soliciting me as a fuck buddy. I’m disheartened because prior to this specific conversation he was a man who treated me with the upmost level of respect and was very supportive of who I am.

I am struggling with whether or not I should still go out in this date because I would hate to be even further turned off by him due to his current state of healing. On the other hand, I don’t want to miss the opportunity as this has been an ongoing desire for years. Lastly, I feel that I may be judging him poorly based on how early he revealed this hyper sexual side of himself that I never knew before. It has changed my perception of him and I feel I’m being unfair because I too am very open sexually. I just would have preferred to not have seen and heard so much, so soon! I’m a believer in 2nd chances so I keep hoping that maybe if we meet up for dinner in person the vibe would be better as it has been any other time when we’ve been around one another over the years.

What should I do?! Do I meet up with him?! Share you thoughts in the link below.

-Maria

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Have a question/topic you want Maria to tackle? Send away!!