Dear Maria: Hit and Run?

QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

The last person I dated was in November 2019. Initially, after it ended, I was pretty crushed and decided to throw myself into my career. 7 months later and during a pandemic, I meet someone online and I’m vibing with them. It turns from two weeks of talking on the dating app to exchanging info, to chatting on the phone. What followed was another week and a half of everyday communication including FaceTimes throughout the day. This guy worked pretty hard at getting me to open up and go on a date. We finally get to the date and it was great. They’re the same person from online in real life – thank god.

He spent the night at my place into the morning and the next day. After the date I am feeling super confident that we are both on the same page. Throughout the day, after the first date, we keep in touch by sending texts. But as Sunday/Monday appear, I get left on read for the rest of the week. I received a drunken FaceTime in the early hours of the morning a week after our first date.

Maria, was there a way to avoid this?

Love,
Hard Enough

ANSWER:

Cmon “Single White Female!” Haha!

This actually might be the shortest Dear Maria ever, but sis...just move on! These “Entanglements” are so common in the modern dating world, hunny. 

There are men who are committed to hooking up, but not wanting to be painted out to be THAT guy. So, they build these connections and give great vibes all to save face and be the “Good Guy,” when deep down they are just looking for a lay like many of the rest. 

Don’t beat yourself up thinking that you moved too fast or something because the reality is, whether you laid down with him after 2 weeks or 2 months, he was gonna’ ghost and that’s no shade! Put him in your back pocket and use that ass when you want some strokes ;) Make sure you stay in charge, though! 

Get back out there, sweetie. I’m sure you’re in your prime. You got this! Practice makes perfect and the right one will do the right thing. In the meantime, have fun. Dating is HARD ENOUGH! 

-Maria

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