Dear Maria: The Snapchat Ghost

QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

I started talking to this one guy many months ago that I found randomly on Snapchat. We hit it off and met up once to fool around. I thought things were going okay.

I wanted to come over to his place, but now he ghosts me all the time and doesn’t tell me why. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Eric C

ANSWER:

Hi Eric!

Thanks for writing in hun. This is pretty interesting as I don’t hear much about snapchat hookups/relationships often but clearly they exist. The interesting part about snapchat is you have to request people in order to become friends and chat, exchange, etc. I am curious as to whether or not you had this person as a contact suggestion or maybe you exchanged snap codes via another app as I know that seems to be popular. Did you ever exchange numbers and start a text relationship? Facetime? If not, that's the first sign for me that this person is not committed to anything other than maybe that initial hookup as he is not even invested enough to exchange numbers with you.

It leads me to ask what were you expecting from hooking up with someone who you only chatted with on snapchat and never had an official invite to his place? Where did y’all even hookup initially? If it was at your place then maybe he just feels more comfortable doing that. I find people are very private about their spaces – especially if it’s a hookup off an app. So, if you are pressuring him about his place, maybe that is what resulted in his absence of conversation. Also, what exactly are your intentions with this person and does this person know them? Have you made it clear that you want more than a hookup? 

Aside from all of those missing details I can still wrap this up for you pretty confidently. You mentioned he ghosts you all the time. That’s a sure message he is not interested. People who are interested will make it clear with their actions and effort. In my opinion, it sounds like you may be a little sprung off of your past interactions and this person is obviously not reciprocating the same energy. Go find someone else who is deserving of your attention and effort. Get back out there. 

Good Luck!!! Happy Dating!

Maria

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