Dear Maria: Give Me a Hand?

QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

I’m a single guy and I spend a lot of time on Twitter reviewing content that helps me to “get through the week” if you know what I mean. Although the content is adequate in helping me to relieve “tension,” it’s becoming less and less enticing. What advice would you give a guy trying to find his kink of choice? I’m running out of ideas.

Sincerely,

Joe Schmo

ANSWER:

Hey,

FREAK TWITTER MAKE SOME NOISE!!!

Haha! I legit have so much to say about this because I too indulge in “Twitter After Dark.” Funny thing is – not everyone knows this even exists, so kudos to you for exploring. Drop them links thoooo ;)

Now, when you say you spend a lot of time, that concerns me. You better not be on the clock! Haha! No judgement, but how much is too much, you know? I believe most adults should have a healthy relationship with their porn consumption. Pornography is very helpful in day-to-day life to help ease that “tension” just like you mentioned. Often times, usually with men, you can unintentionally end up replacing your regular healthy sex life with porn. So, it leads me to ask when the last time you had sex was and why? Are you practicing celibacy or are you just that “driven” that sex isn’t enough, and you’re also consuming lots of porn? If so, it may be time to find other ways to help release that tension. Take up a dance class or go for a run. This way, porn doesn’t become oversaturated for you. Again, in no way am I shaming excessive masturbation, I just want clarity. Listen to this podcast for reference. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-sugars/id950464429?i=1000514618376

You expressed that the content is becoming less enticing for you and that's common – especially if you’re not having sex – because at some point your urge for the real thing can become insatiable. However, if this is just regular day-to-day porn consumption then it may be best to spice things up. I myself go through porn phases. Some weeks it’s Twitter. Some weeks it’s PornHub. Other times it’s my hidden folder. The best thing to do is to rotate your options like shampoo. This will help keep things interesting and fresh. 

Expand your horizon with categories. There’s a huge web of adult content. Some people find out randomly by exploring that they are very turned on by virtual reality, toon/anime, BDSM and the list goes on. Even chat rooms can ignite that spark and introduce you to new worlds. I’m actually fascinated every time I stumble upon something new that I didn’t know turned me on. 

Lastly, I encourage you to start practicing those kinks when you find them. Open yourself up. For example, if leather and lace is a turn on in your adult content, then going out and purchasing some for yourself will heighten your experience. Most kinky clothing & toys can also be found discreetly online ;) So get creative!

Have fun, play safe, and be adventurous. <3

Maria

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