Dear Maria: What's The Real "Benefit" of "Friends With Benefits?"

QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

I have had a friend with benefits for over a year and a half. I notice that he watches my IG story every day and doesn't miss a single story. But in real life, he only hits me up sporadically. When he does, it’s for sex. I want something more. Our connection is amazing, but he isn't consistent enough for us to ever have the "lets be something more" conversation.

What should I do?

- Friendly Jones

ANSWER:

Oh, Hunny!

This is a modern day tale of “Fuck Boy” and its nooooo shade! You have to pick up on the clear signs that he only communicates with you for sex. You said it yourself that he is not consistent enough to even humor the thought of having the “I want more” conversation. So my question is, what about him makes you want more aside from the sex? You say a connection, but if y’all only talk for sex where is this magic spark?! I need to know more. 

In 2020 I encourage everyone to be open and honest with their feelings. You have to be clear and concise with him about what you want. Unfortunately, you have to prepare yourself for the very strong possibility that he may say he just wants to remain FWBs, because after a year and a half, there’s been plenty of time for him to express if he wants more. 

Lastly, do not misinterpret his attention to your social media as anything else other than what it is. We have a bad habit in society today of confusing likes/comments/views as a form of flirting when in reality it may just be a scroll pass. 

Have the conversation and make it sooner than later. Don’t drag this out any further. You don’t wanna turn around and realize you wasted your time when you could have been out being that bad bitch that’s in all of us! ;)

Good luck and keep me posted! 

-Maria 

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