Dear Maria: Never Satisfied?

QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

Hey girl! So, I've been hooking up with this FINE man a few times...I'll call him "Leo" to remain anonymous and I have to say, when it comes to no strings attached relations the sex as been A1! The man is a Zaddy: nearly 6', dreads, naturally muscular and thick, chocolate (like I love them lol) and lives 10 minutes away from me.

We've been hooking up since October and besides the sex appeal and sex itself, what struck me was his interest in knowing if I voted in November. We had connected solely on a sexual basis so it was kind of nice to consider that he was somewhat interested in what was going on in my head. Weeks and several hookups at my place later, I end up at his place for the first time. I was obviously there to have sex – which we did – but after he wanted to cuddle, kept asking me to stay, was smothering with kisses, gave me a shot, talked to me about his friends and the cookouts he has in the summer, invited me to stay for a weekend...the man was falling in love!

I'm honestly a romantic so I'm not opposed to love and relationships, but I can't lie and say I wasn't a little taken off guard. We had only been hooking up (not dating!) for a few months and while I'm a long term relationship minded person, I kind of entered into this with the mindset that I needed something casual to NOT get caught up in Negroes and the bullshit that comes with them.

Seems like I'm never satisfied? Maria, what do you think?

- Never Satisfied

ANSWER:

Hello darling!!! Happy December to you and your loved ones, thank you for writing in!

I want to start off by asking does Leo got friends? Or a cousin? ‘Cause he sounds “FIONE” Fine!!! Haha! Wow, what a man!!! Hunny, it sounds like you really won this holiday season! A FWB who is your type + bomb sex + convenient (10min commute)…sis, you can’t mess this up!!! Not much to complain about here from this angle.

I’ll say this: never read into a man’s actions as more than what they are. If he truly wanted things to go further with y’all relationship or wanted to test the waters beyond FWB you would know that. He would openly say that and if he’s not openly saying that then my advice would be to keep treating this as a FWB. This is working for now and you both seem satisfied with these results. Granted, sometimes your regular hookup can look like the best candidate for future bae, but that also puts the "fuck-buddy" contract at risk. Unless you 100% feel he is the type and someone you could actually settle down with (which is hard because it’s only been 2 months) then I would just let things be and enjoy the moment. Don’t think too much!

Also, what better than to have a FWB who you have a strong bond with?! Someone to chat with, spend the weekend = fuckathon!!! Either way, give this situation time and enjoy the ride for now. DON’T GET CAUGHT UP! I think if YOU stop thinking and just feel things through you’ll truly be ... SATISFIED.

Good luck babe and keep having amazing sex into 2021 – we all deserve that. I’ll be living through you and wishing you the best!

- Maria  

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