Dear Maria: Paint Shame

QUESTION:

Hi Maria,

I’m glad I finally have someone who can relate to the everyday struggles we face in our specific community! I want to talk about “paint." It’s something that happens during sex unexpectedly. From my personal experience, I can tell you that amongst my friend group, it’ll definitely be a kiki to talk about a bottom painting on you (even if it was an accident). I personally don’t mind a bit of paint if I’m topping, and I don’t expect the bottom to spend two hours squirting water up their ass for 45 minutes of fun. Where does the shame originate? Is there a time when this topic won’t be so taboo?

Shit happens,
Diesel Fuel

ANSWER:

Hi Diesel Fuel,

I want to start off by commending you for being so brave in taking a stance that not many are proud to stand in (pun intended). I agree with you when you state that the topic of “painting” can be a kiiiikiiii and a taboo subject. For those who don’t know, “painting” is a term used when referencing “accidents” during anal sex!

To answer your question, Diesel Fuel, I believe that the shame stems from basic human embarrassment when it comes to having those kinds of accidents. We are taught as children that it’s not ok to shit yourself! We grow up attached to that shame. Now introduce that shame in one of your most intimate moments, like, during sex...you tell me? Yeah, I thought so! Shame! Shame! Shame!

I also believe that the shame is amplified with the stigma that comes from immature adults engaging in what should be mature behavior. To reference your statement, “Shit Happens,” I find in my own personal experience - and many people that I know agree - that with age and experience, truly comes wisdom and maturity. At the end of the day, anyone engaging in anal sex should be aware of the very common and natural reactions and effects that the human body can have when having a 10-inch dick rammed up their ass. Let’s not get into if you were lucky enough to be taken to dinner, that you are on a full stomach (yikes!).

Now, I could go on for days about this next statement, however, for the GROWN ASS BITCHES taking dick, there are various measures you can take to reduce the risk of said accidents. So no, I am not saying that you should be ashamed if an accident happens or that it’s not natural. However, if you are taking zero steps to be preventative, then no shade sis, you’re adding to the stigma.

Finally, answering your second question as to when will the topic not be taboo, I’d say NEVER. In our community it will sadly remain a constant gossip, but I can confidently say that we do get smarter. And as we grow up, we ain’t letting SHIT get in the way of our nut! (Raw, but very real!)

I hope that helps and know that you are very mature and secure in your sex! Happy Fuckin'!

- Maria

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