QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

So, I’ve been in the closet for many years now and I tend to go on Grindr a lot to discreetly talk to men. I do on occasion actually meet guys and have fun with them. I've only bottomed so far and I enjoy it a lot. I think it’s time for me to come out and be who I am, but I’m scared.

What should I do?

Sincerely,

Anonymous

ANSWER:

Hi Anonymous,

First, I want you to know how common it is to have reservations and even fear of “coming out” no matter what age you decide to do so. What’s interesting is we live in a society today where it is less and less expected to feel required to come out. This leads me to want a deeper understanding of what coming out looks like to you. Do you plan on making a big announcement? Does your family have access to this part of your life? Friends? Past lovers? I encourage you to also define what coming out means to you and what sense of freedom or reward you gain by doing so. 

My advice would be to take your time and be conscious of who you are divulging this personal information to and why. Prepare for everyone's reactions to be different, but try your best to not set expectations of anyone.

I am so excited for you to experience this newfound sense of self by living in your truth holistically. Focus on happiness and remembering that you did this to be free. Wishing you well on your new journey. Good luck!!!

– Maria

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