QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

How does one overcome their shyness and develop the ability to approach someone in which whom they may be interested?

ANSWER:

Hi Le Fe,

Hope you are preparing for a fabulous weekend! Based on the pronoun I am going to assume that you are one of my femme sisters in the spectrum. From the sounds of it, you or someone you know is struggling with confidence. With all things in life, it is said that practice makes perfect. This can include our emotional habits. 

First, You gotta own your “bad bitchness!” We all got that side of us that creates that urge to take risks. This is how we get jobs, ask for that raise, etc., and that same spirit is what we use when approaching a person of interest. 

I Think you need to practice some self care. It’s important for our overall mental health. Treat yourself to something nice. Do the things that make you happy. Build yourself up! For me, that would be hitting that Barney’s close out sale and a margarita after, but you do you boo! I say that to say, happy people are always more appealing/attractive and positive energy will attract the same. 

Now as far as shooting your shot?! Child, that’s going to take some real effort. Rejection is the biggest fear when approaching a “potential,” but it’s quite common.

We all know how hard it is with the social media culture, screenshots, etc. which makes sliding in the DMs nerve wrecking. However, the focus here needs to be on you and not the other person and the possible spectators.

Reinforce yourself by looking at it like, “hey, I took a chance and no matter the outcome, ‘imma’ be alright!” And if the answer is a “no,” do as Cardi said and Get Up 10! There’s plenty of potentials out there ;)

-Maria

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