QUESTION:

Dear Maria,

During my single years I was always comfortable rotating a number of guys (depending on my specific need). If I wanted to top, there was a guy for that. If I wanted to bottom, there was a guy for that. If I wanted to be choke-slammed on the mattress, there was even a guy for that!

The point is, I like to have options. I sometimes feel selfish for putting pressure on my partner to scratch every itch I have. There’s a social pressure our community has to remain monogamous. That’ll never work for me, and my partner and I have agreed to play outside the box (when one of us are out of town). Let me tell you, it’s been absolutely fabulous!

What makes monogamy natural, if it’s natural to have lust/desires for others you also find attractive

Thanks,

Choke Slam

ANSWER:

C’mon Energy!!!

Loving the openness! Thank you for writing in. This is a discussion that is truly based on perception. There never be a true right or wrong answer that the human race will agree on. I think what’s most important it that we all need to understand that there is no one way to date and should respect anyone who chooses a monogamous dating life or not.

According to science, we are designed as humans to naturally not be monogamous. Monogamy is something we created, and over many years, made it a societal standard.

Shit, I myself have suffered many times with the struggle of social monogamy (which we don’t talk about as much as we do sexual monogamy). There is such a thing as being attracted to people’s personalities and presence, and it doesn’t have to be sexual!

Kudos to you, "Sis," for having the gut wrenching conversation about having an open relationship. Only the strong will truly ask for what they want. In my opinion, everyone is within their right to create their own dating rules, as long as both parties consent and agree on all the terms.

With that said, I wish you nothing but the "Wrestlemania" of your dreams the next time you’re out of town ;)

Make it a Grand Slam!

- Maria

—————

Have a question/topic you want Maria to tackle? Send away!!